Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Random Thought
Ok so I'm sitting here thinking about life and all that deep shit that usually gives you a headache, and I realized that I all to often fit into the stereotype. I honestly don't try to find a guy but when I do I find a need to keep him... not so much because I LIKE him but more so because according to society it gives my life meaning. This however is completely independent of my self-esteem. I have no problem what so ever going up to a complete stranger and asking them to sit with us at lunch, but when it comes to someone I'm dating I usually let them walk all over me, which is so far from my personality its ridiculous. How is it that someone can be so confident until they "hook" someone and only then allow themselves to loose all sense of self?
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I think it's just because as humans, we are generally programmed to want to work in pairs. I've often thought about the idea of two people singling themselves off from the rest of the world in a relationship sort of way. How insane is it that we're able to find someone that we love and want to be with and have that one person feel the same way about us? I think because we find it once, we're terrified that it will never happen again, so we do what we "have" to do to keep it. If we have to sacrifice a bit of ourselves to be with another exclusively, then we're willing to do it because we're unsure that the same opportunity will arise again if we let this one go. I'm not saying that's necessarily how it should be, but I do think we sometimes change who we are or ignore who we are out of fear of change...
ReplyDeleteDo we truely ever find someone who will accept us as we are, no change necessary? I mean if you plan on staying with someone longer than a year you end up compromising on a lot. The thing that makes it ok is that they do to.
ReplyDeleteIf we trust ourselves and our own abilities than shouldnt we be happy with that and not worry about the rest?
I think you can change behaviors and thought patterns, but your core self never really changes unless you let another change it, which is what I'm saying is possibly not ok. I think we absolutely have to adjust ourselves to mesh with someone else if we want to be with him/her, but changing core beliefs or values or the things that make you you is when it gets into that grey area.
ReplyDeleteI would agree that changing core beliefs and values is wrong on many different levels to a point, how many of the beliefs and values can you change before it is considered controlling and/or abusive?
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